Be Still My Heart

Blue and Green Heart Pillow from Etsy seller bexcaliber

My heart has been doing funny things lately. It is sometimes so full it feels like it might burst. But then it will ache with a wanting I have never felt before. And then some days it burns with frustration and a feeling of helplessness I can't seem to shake.

There are so many emotions and thoughts going through my mind and heart right now I have no idea what direction to go in.

The love I have for my new baby boy is unlike any love I have ever known. All I want to do is snuggle him and kiss his cheeks. Hear him laugh and giggle and cuddle him next to me as long as he will sit still (which is getting less and less with each passing day). He has changed everything about who I am in his short five months of life.

Suddenly my priorities are completely different and all I feel is a need to change. To change who I am, or rather change back to who I was a long time ago. Someone who was softer. Someone who had dreams and wouldn't compromise. Someone who valued friendship and love above all else.

All of the things I thought I 'needed' in life suddenly seem trivial and childish. A waste of effort and energy. How did I get so off track? Or rather, how did I end up on the wrong one? Did I know myself so little?

Eli has made me open my eyes to who I truly am, who I truly want to be, and what I truly want to make a priority in my life. But now I am at a loss on how to get to that point. I am making changes, slowly. To my thinking, to my routine. But the bigger items I am not sure how to tackle.

There are so many things I want to have time for but time seems to be sparse these days. With my regular job, my Truly Noted business, my new Pampered Chef business, and the regular every day things that need to be done, I really have no idea how I do anything to completion.

I need to de-clutter my life- but how? I need my job to pay the bills (and even then it is a stretch). I need the businesses to hopefully make enough to off-set the job so I can eventually leave it. So do I just need to bear with it for now? How can I be assured there is a sunny ending? That all of this work and sacrifice will be worth it?

And I refuse to sacrifice any time I have to be with my baby. It is all for him, but I don't want to miss anything in these early days.

How does anybody make this work and come out the other end intact?

Short Story Invite

I spotted this invitation on Design Sponge and had to share. It is so charming- I love the typography and the format, and it's cute that they include the entire story of their (lengthy) courtship. I think it really flows into the invite, though.

My favorite part is the end; 'dinner and dancing and eternity to follow'- very cute!

Grown-Up Valentines

Valentine's Day has not always been a holiday that I take much notice of. Sure, my husband and I would use it as an excuse to treat ourselves to a nice dinner and maybe, if I was lucky, he would get me some good chocolate. But it always sort of snuck up on me and it never occurred to me to get anything for anyone else. Now that the economy is in the dumps and it seems like you can't watch TV or read a newspaper without finding out something else depressing, I thought perhaps Valentine's Day wasn't something to overlook this year.

I know that most everyone I know would enjoy a little pick-me-up and so I set off to make some homemade valentines. In grade school I always made homemade cards for my classmates. I loved the lacy, heart-shaped doilies and bright red construction paper heart pockets that we would use to collect all of our cards.

To make my grown-up valentines I found some vintage graphics and funny sayings online, printed up the cards, cut them out, and to add a little special touch I made some pretty envelope liners embossed with hearts.


All I did was use an envelope liner template and some bright pink paper I got on sale at Michaels. Using a ruler and an exacto knife I cut out each liner and then using my Scotch tape gun I glued them down inside the envelopes. The trick is to slip the liner into the envelope before you put the tape on and fold the flap over with the liner to ensure that your crease is in exactly the right place. Then after you have the back taped up, you slip it back in and fold the flap again to seal the two peices together.


I think from now on this will be an annual tradition- I just hope I get some in return!

Fall...In Love With Vermont

Fall is my favorite season. Probably because I grew up in New England and learned to appreciate the crisp air, sweet apples and gorgeous foliage that descends upon us before the bitterly cold winter. It's the last hurrah before we all hunker down in our houses in front of the fire.

I chose Fall for my wedding because of the spectacular colors and scenery in Vermont during that time of year. I couldn't imagine any other backdrop for the most magical and special day of my life. My husband also has an affinity for Fall (proof that we are perfect for each other!) so on October 14th of 2006 we pledged our undying love to each other.

As we celebrate our 2nd year anniversary (yes I realize this is a little late- it was Tuesday) we reflect on why we chose Fall. As we drive through our small country town in awe of the fiery color that is overtaking the mountains, or the vibrant reds, golds and oranges that glitter in the sunlight above our heads as we drive through tree lined streets. There is something peaceful and content about Fall- like a well earned reward after all the work of the Summer. The sweet and tart of a crisp, ripe apple that whisks you back to a childhood full of jumping in piles of leaves and carving pumpkins.

It is homey. I want to bake pies and crisps. Heat up stews and soups. It is very similar to the feeling of knowing the person you are with is the love of your life. The feeling of creating a cozy home and nourishing each other's souls. True, Summer is really 'Wedding Season' with it's great weather and warm evenings. But Fall has a magic for me that Summer can never produce and so Fall will always mean love to me.