Monday, February 28, 2011

Etsy Crush - Emilie Friday's Calligraphy

I have been lusting after this address stamp for quite some time. What a pretty way to make all of your correspondence just a little more special. If I had only known about this when I was creating my own wedding invitations - it would have saved me a lot of hand cramps!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Risks & Rewards

I just read this in the latest edition of 'Quit Your Day Job' on Etsy...

"...what I really love is that the risks and the rewards are all ours. Not everything is going to be perfect, but the opportunities we discover and the challenges we face are because of decisions we make. Feeling that type of ownership over what you do each day is liberating." -Shauna, Etsy shop somethingshidinghere

This is exactly how I feel. And today marks the beginning as I just gave my two-week notice at work this morning. So I can't go back now!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Best Laid Plans

I had so many plans, to-do lists, ideas, aspirations....but none of them could stand up to THE PLAUGE the horrible virus I just had. Six beautiful days off in a row, and most of them were spent on the couch. Or rocking a sick baby. Or caring for my equally ill husband.

As horrible as it was I am finding the positive in our plight. At least I already had the days off and I didn't have to stay home from work and lose any pay. At least I had the choice to stay home and care for my baby and I didn't have to drag him to daycare to infect all of the other little babes. And through my fever and pain many things became apparent to me.

1. I hate bringing my baby to daycare (already knew this to some extent) and allowing him to be exposed to heinous germs that make him sick more days than he is well.

2. Being sick for two weeks out of every month doesn't make my job seem very worth it. Especially once you deduct the expenses of doctor's visits and medicine, not to mention the emotional toll it took on both my husband and myself.

3. Having a baby that is always sick is sad. It makes me cry. And then when you get sick and have to care for the sick baby as well you realize what is important to you. And for me that is having a baby who is healthy and happy (at least more days than he is not).

4. I think that whole line about daycare and getting sick being 'good' for babies is totally blown out of context. Yes, exposing your baby to other people and germs is good for building their immune system. Much preferable to keeping him indoors all the time and never letting him see the light of day. Being horribly sick more days than not? Having ear infection after ear infection after ear infection? No, I don't believe that is good for a 5 month old baby. Or anyone, for that matter.

5. It's time for me to act on my heart and do what I know is best for my family.

So I didn't get to post 20 new designs in my Etsy store. Nor did I balance my business checking account and clean my office. My new contacts interested in having a Pampered Chef party did not get called and my house did not get cleaned. But I made a decision- a big one - and I am really excited to start the new chapter of my life.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Be Still My Heart

My heart has been doing funny things lately. It is sometimes so full it feels like it might burst. But then it will ache with a wanting I have never felt before. And then some days it burns with frustration and a feeling of helplessness I can't seem to shake.

There are so many emotions and thoughts going through my mind and heart right now I have no idea what direction to go in.

The love I have for my new baby boy is unlike any love I have ever known. All I want to do is snuggle him and kiss his cheeks. Hear him laugh and giggle and cuddle him next to me as long as he will sit still (which is getting less and less with each passing day). He has changed everything about who I am in his short five months of life.

Suddenly my priorities are completely different and all I feel is a need to change. To change who I am, or rather change back to who I was a long time ago. Someone who was softer. Someone who had dreams and wouldn't compromise. Someone who valued friendship and love above all else.

All of the things I thought I 'needed' in life suddenly seem trivial and childish. A waste of effort and energy. How did I get so off track? Or rather, how did I end up on the wrong one? Did I know myself so little?

Eli has made me open my eyes to who I truly am, who I truly want to be, and what I truly want to make a priority in my life. But now I am at a loss on how to get to that point. I am making changes, slowly. To my thinking, to my routine. But the bigger items I am not sure how to tackle.

There are so many things I want to have time for but time seems to be sparse these days. With my regular job, my Truly Noted business, my new Pampered Chef business, and the regular every day things that need to be done, I really have no idea how I do anything to completion.

I need to de-clutter my life- but how? I need my job to pay the bills (and even then it is a stretch). I need the businesses to hopefully make enough to off-set the job so I can eventually leave it. So do I just need to bear with it for now? How can I be assured there is a sunny ending? That all of this work and sacrifice will be worth it?

And I refuse to sacrifice any time I have to be with my baby. It is all for him, but I don't want to miss anything in these early days.

How does anybody make this work and come out the other end intact?